The Magic Theatre

When I was around 20 or so I went to a magic theatre dinner. It was intended for pure entertainment. I had an attitude like I was going to catch this guy and no one could pull the wool over my eyes. I was completely enthralled caught up in the "magic" and watched every move, I was sure to catch him. But then as the trick was performed before my very eyes, the illusion unraveled right before me and I was completely deceived. I was tricked! My only words were "oh wow." "Oh, wow..." He did it, he tricked me, deceived me. I didn't come away upset, thoroughly entertained albeit, this is a magic show after all.  But at the same time I realized how very easily one can be deceived. Wow.

Recently I've found myself in one of these "oh wow" moments. No words really necessary. Just oh wow. This time unlike the magic show though, hurt tagged along because it was found in such an unlikely source. Such a blow, after blow. When I feel like I'm all alone, no one to stand for me especially amongst so many untruths and deceptions and all I want to do is stand up and fight, I know Christ is my Redeemer. He is my vindication. Repeatedly I'm told "He will bring all things to light, just pray."
God has shown Himself ever faithful, compassionate, merciful and ever so loving. In all of those prayers of "where are you o Lord in this dry and weary land" He has shown me He is with me, always near. When I draw near to Him He will be near to me.
The most amazing thing of all? You're so ready for the more positive right? He leads me to those green pastures, those still waters. He leads. It is not up to anything other than listening to His Spirit, stepping out in faith, trusting in Him. Oh Lord you are my Rock and my Redeemer, my Strong Tower, my Refuge. After confirmation upon confirmation, all drawn out by the Lord Himself, I now find myself in a new but so refreshing place. I have to be honest, I am scared. I see fruit but I'm waiting, I am still, I am patient. I don't want to be reluctant to do the Lords will, to do the work He has sent me to do wherever I go but...I am a bit timid. I see a complete black and white difference but I am a little bit gun shy. I continue to trust in the Lord, the same God who flung the stars in the sky, sent Jesus to die on the cross for me, the same God who loves me intimately. I will wait on Him. Trust in Him. He brings all things to light and I will wait as I do the will of the one who sent me. Trusting Him who has already, "redeemed my life from the pit and crowned me with love and compassion" Ps. 103:4 The Lord has allowed me to not just read His word but to experience His word. He desires for us all to know and experience His love and compassion. Sometimes to understand this depth of this we have to go through some muddy pits. I am so thankful to come out of this muddy pit with His praises on my tongue. I will praise His Holy name, not just read it.

Psalm 103 

Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
 who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
 who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.

 He made known his ways to Moses,
    his deeds to the people of Israel:
 The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
    slow to anger, abounding in love.
 He will not always accuse,
    nor will he harbor his anger forever;
 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him;
 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

 As a father has compassion on his children,
    so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed,
    he remembers that we are dust.
 The life of mortals is like grass,
    they flourish like a flower of the field;
 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
    and its place remembers it no more.
 But from everlasting to everlasting
    the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
    and his righteousness with their children’s children—
 with those who keep his covenant
    and remember to obey his precepts.

 The Lord has established his throne in heaven,
    and his kingdom rules over all. 

Praise the Lord, you his angels,
    you mighty ones who do his bidding,
    who obey his word. Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,
    you his servants who do his will.
 Praise the Lord, all his works
    everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the Lord, my soul.