Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Whoa whoa whoa God!

I would say Im speechless but its really like I can't order my thoughts straight. I have plenty to say but where do I start?
Ok I'll start with the fact that we have been at our beloved place of fellowship since the fall of 2005. For the past year my husband and I have felt like there has been a pull to find a closer church home but denied and stuffed that feeling away. Over the past 2 months or so we have really felt the strain of traveling even farther with our 2 small kiddos and really wishing we just could be closer. There is no way, though we've thought about it, that we would move closer to church ourselves because its a quite congested traffic area and we really really aren't fans of that. We feel like where we are is our "oikos" (sphere on influence) and it would just be wrong to leave it. So we've prayed, prayed, and even let our spiritual enemy have his hand on why we must go! Thank God we have come to the conclusion that it really is for the fact that God is ushering us into something smaller and local. We have friends who have wanted to go to church but feel our church home is too far and then we lose touch and the interest fades. So we begin our search...nothing...really nothing... Not feeling God say this is the one and so our search continues. We meet with our Pastor and our Associate Pastor. Funny thing is since coming to Christ they have seen qualities of pastor in my husband. He does have a passion for the word and we can relate to some people that others may not be able to. He has had training in pastor studies via a source our associate pastor uses to train and disciple. Gods will be done right? Yeah but how about after Sean is done with his schooling he is currently enrolled in to further medicine? How about in 10-20 years I say, oh and how about when the boys get older. Again my pastor reminds me he was the same age, and had 1 kid extra on me, no excuses. Thats great thats all fine but ok lets hear from God. Thanks for the encouragement that is wonderful all these thoughts and ideas but c'mon God where ya at? Well the following day I have a friend come over we discuss simple church, the early church, and oh yeah I am studying Acts in BSF with was followed by my own verse by verse study of Genesis. God is faithful was the overriding message. So as I talk I get a message from a friend seeking Jesus, she just didn't know it ;). I've shared my testimony with her before but it was a no thanks. So now out of the blue she says ok I need church now. What do I do where do I go? She is in my oikos. I tell her Im looking for one in area, I'll let ya know and worst case you'll just come over to my house and we can sit and talk. Since she's never been to church she likes that option. So then BSF, my new friend in group who I keep running into explains she feels like she needs to reconnect with God even though she's still in church somewhere and may be looking for new church. She lives 10 minutes from me. My oikos. So then she somehow winds up in the same hemodynamics class my husband is in the following Friday. Too many coincidences. She said if you start a church I'm in. Hahaha!!! I say this is funny. So I pray, I fast, I pray. God what is going on??? So Im leaving out a bunch of God moments. Way too many coincidences and possible confirmations that God may be calling for a house church. Oh no oh no!!! I am scared! So with all of that and even the woman giving lecture at BSF seemed to know the situation and speak directly to me...I know I have to take one day at a time, stay calm -- the Lord fights (works) for me (Ex.14:14),  and walk by faith not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7). Whew! I want to say no Lord but then that wouldn't make him Lord of my life. I have to trust and not be afraid. Last Sunday we had seven adults and 6 children. This coming Sunday we may have up to 13 adults (?) and (13?) kids? Oh geesh! I don't have a big home its one story very open floor plan and Im asking God to please bring a calm over myself and the kiddos. To let Himself be glorified and  if this is what he want that he would make it all to be at peace, to let his word be heard and if not then shut it down shut it down and provide another church that we can take all of these people seeking a church to. Also there is a pastor of 30 years we've connected with, maybe he is in on some plan the Lord has? I hope so! Also worship leader is stuck between here and another offer. And I need child care!!!! I have resources for kids devotional from when we led a group previously and I can do that but I don't, selfishly, want to get burnt out and never have time to sit under a teaching myself. Oh so I bring these things to His throne, His grace is sufficient for me. I have a plan with the kids, need a helper, a sitter for about an hour but a devotional and structure is in place. Just need a sitter a good one. So I pray, our pastors pray, and those crazy men are excited! I just want to be in Gods will. Oh and my friend I've been praying for for 2 years she just bought a bible yesterday and hasn't taken her eyes out of it! Praise the Lord!!! She is coming over tomorrow to ask questions on a life in Christ. Praise the Lord that another sister was able to sow some seeds too. I thank God for the sisters He has provided me and through His providence I am encouraged. I thank God my husband and I are in unity and both walk one step at a time with fear and trembling, Lord your will be done not ours. *sigh* its out I feel better... But keep praying!!! I know I've left lots out but feel free to ask, pray, or speak words of encouragement. Now to get my bible study on!