Ever feel like you're just hanging at the top of the roller coaster just before it climbs the very top? That moment before gravity grabs you and you go rushing forward? While its a fun rush, not every circumstance is desirable of this sort of feeling.
I have a big decision to make in the future as far as my children's education and it terrifies me. I have given lots of prayer and consideration. I have basically researched all possibilities and tried a desirable, and for me, easier route but still feel I need to devote more prayer.
Thank God I still have about a year to think about it. Ok well realistically I think I have about six months to a year or so before I have to really come to a decision.
The fact that I am researching outside of my comfortable box is a huge step for me. I am beginning to feel a bit more peace but I still have the "clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack..........clack....ppshhhhh..............." Whoooo its a lil scary. I'll keep ya posted. I will no doubt have every form of education researched by the end of the year ;)
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
God Is So Much Bigger
So funny when we really think about it, how much bigger God is than what we may be perceiving at the moment in any given time. I am SO ridiculously thankful that God has guided our steps to where we are at the moment. Some things we don't have immediate answers to, all of the "why's" but oh is He ever faithful to carry us through and to the place we need to be for His glory.
Prayer is a passion that God has put on my heart since the fall/winter of '09. I just had my sweet baby J and now with two kids I felt I couldn't really get out to serve mission-ally as well as I wanted. I felt a stirring inside to get into my prayer closet more and sit at His feet, to not just pray for my needs or my families needs but to really intercede for those around me and for the needs of the church. Its so awesome that my mentor mom happened to be one of the prayer team leaders and really helped me grow in intercession. She gave me the push of confidence I needed to just pray to the Father on behalf of those broken, sick, hurting, and those in need. She encouraged me to listen to the Father and wait on Him for Him to bring about the insight on what to pray. It was really neat to see how God would work to build up His body through prayer. It was really neat to see people break free from the chains of bondage, to throw off all that hindered and to walk in freedom. To turn and praise His name for the work He had done in their life and all the much more for what He was about to do.
I am so thankful for where we are right now. We are in a new church, completely new. We've only known one home church before so its been an adjustment but God is so gracious to show us He is wherever His people are. He is all about Kingdom work and His kingdom is much bigger than we know. We have work to do so let us not forget what He's taught and get after it. Pray for the foundation of souls to be saved. Pray for the enrichment of what He has already laid down and begin interceding for those around you right where you are.
Last night I went on a prayer drive, much like a prayer walk but in a vehicle :). The pastor encouraged prayer for the 10 mile radius within the church. Of course when I read this I jumped with excitement to have a zone to pray for! I grabbed the ladies from small group and we set out. It really is an eye opening experience to just drive through nearby neighborhoods and ask God to give you eyes to see the people He has created and the families that He has planted there. To see them as He sees them. To imagine what life is like within those doors. I have to admit, not many pretty pictures or scenes popped into mind. There are so many lost, broken, hurting, needing to be healed kind of people right next to me. Take a look, they are likely right next to you too. God knows their needs. He knows they all need a Savior just like you and me. The difference between us and them? He has placed His light within us to shine in those dark places and bring them out. To call them out, to pray and intercede on their behalf that they would have the courage to step out and trust a God who is so much bigger. I am so thankful to have the group of ladies I had come out with me and see things how God sees them. To keep an eternal perspective that its not about ourselves but being found people to find people as our new church home puts it. We are looking forward to all the much bigger things God has in store for this community and in our own hearts.
I am thankful.
Prayer is a passion that God has put on my heart since the fall/winter of '09. I just had my sweet baby J and now with two kids I felt I couldn't really get out to serve mission-ally as well as I wanted. I felt a stirring inside to get into my prayer closet more and sit at His feet, to not just pray for my needs or my families needs but to really intercede for those around me and for the needs of the church. Its so awesome that my mentor mom happened to be one of the prayer team leaders and really helped me grow in intercession. She gave me the push of confidence I needed to just pray to the Father on behalf of those broken, sick, hurting, and those in need. She encouraged me to listen to the Father and wait on Him for Him to bring about the insight on what to pray. It was really neat to see how God would work to build up His body through prayer. It was really neat to see people break free from the chains of bondage, to throw off all that hindered and to walk in freedom. To turn and praise His name for the work He had done in their life and all the much more for what He was about to do.
I am so thankful for where we are right now. We are in a new church, completely new. We've only known one home church before so its been an adjustment but God is so gracious to show us He is wherever His people are. He is all about Kingdom work and His kingdom is much bigger than we know. We have work to do so let us not forget what He's taught and get after it. Pray for the foundation of souls to be saved. Pray for the enrichment of what He has already laid down and begin interceding for those around you right where you are.
Last night I went on a prayer drive, much like a prayer walk but in a vehicle :). The pastor encouraged prayer for the 10 mile radius within the church. Of course when I read this I jumped with excitement to have a zone to pray for! I grabbed the ladies from small group and we set out. It really is an eye opening experience to just drive through nearby neighborhoods and ask God to give you eyes to see the people He has created and the families that He has planted there. To see them as He sees them. To imagine what life is like within those doors. I have to admit, not many pretty pictures or scenes popped into mind. There are so many lost, broken, hurting, needing to be healed kind of people right next to me. Take a look, they are likely right next to you too. God knows their needs. He knows they all need a Savior just like you and me. The difference between us and them? He has placed His light within us to shine in those dark places and bring them out. To call them out, to pray and intercede on their behalf that they would have the courage to step out and trust a God who is so much bigger. I am so thankful to have the group of ladies I had come out with me and see things how God sees them. To keep an eternal perspective that its not about ourselves but being found people to find people as our new church home puts it. We are looking forward to all the much bigger things God has in store for this community and in our own hearts.
I am thankful.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Never a found blessing is born of a lie
I just had to do one of the most hard things I've had to do as a Christian. Truth in love. I have spoken truth in... and sadly out of love before but this was tougher than usual.
This friend of mine who I haven't spoken with since last fall called out of the blue today. When I spoke with her last she found a boyfriend and was struggling as a single mom. This man who came into her life promised to help her because he deeply cared for her. Although she ignored the fact that she knew she wasn't supposed to live with the man and likely, I wasn't in the bedroom to know, but likely have out of marriage sexual relationship with him. She struggled in our last conversation knowing she shouldn't be with him and I urged her to get into her local church and return to Christ.
When I met her she was a strung out stripper who was a proclaimed atheist. Her journey has been long, up and down and all over. I saw the highlights of her life. I saw the Lord bless her tremendously as she gave her life and totally surrendered to Jesus as her Savior. To watch her be rescued from the dead life we lived to life in Christ, her hunger for the Word, it was amazing. It was a beautiful sight. The Word truly was her life. She was filled with the living God, Jesus. She got married to another individual from recovery. They made their life and it was precious to see them love each other and love the Lord.
He relapsed continuously for months. She ran, but not to Christ. She found herself in a drug infested apartment complex out of town, connected with a man, lied to me a few times, became pregnant and this new man urged her to abort. She wouldn't. Praise Jesus! She came back to Christ was loved on by some Christian women and then had a beautiful baby. Over the course of time, this is where this new and latest man came in. Life got hard as a single mom and this guy was willing to "help" her and her baby.
This brings me to today. My guess is she knew I wouldn't approve of this relationship and that is where we lost contact. Today she calls, tells me she is homeless but staying in a women's and children's shelter where they provide childcare while she attends the school she started last year. The man became physical and she left. She says she is struggling because she also needs to find work. She feels her only option is the bar. Admittedly I wonder is it really a bar or is it a club? She wants to apply for a weekend pass from this shelter but has to tell them she will be out of town and wants to use my address just while she can make some money. She tells me the shelter and their programs don't approve of the bar scene and don't want their mothers working in that environment so she has to lie to the shelter. I can't. I can't be a part of that. I am sad. I feel horrible. I can't lie to the shelter and say she is with me when she is working in an environment that they, who are the ones helping her, with her and her child's best interest in mind.
This is hard. Really hard. Pray with me, whoever is reading, to intercede on her behalf that she would return to the joy of her salvation. Trust in the Lord, the only One who can bring life to her dead situation. I maybe shouldn't even put this out there. I would like her covered in prayer and thats my purpose. Pray for her please.
This friend of mine who I haven't spoken with since last fall called out of the blue today. When I spoke with her last she found a boyfriend and was struggling as a single mom. This man who came into her life promised to help her because he deeply cared for her. Although she ignored the fact that she knew she wasn't supposed to live with the man and likely, I wasn't in the bedroom to know, but likely have out of marriage sexual relationship with him. She struggled in our last conversation knowing she shouldn't be with him and I urged her to get into her local church and return to Christ.
When I met her she was a strung out stripper who was a proclaimed atheist. Her journey has been long, up and down and all over. I saw the highlights of her life. I saw the Lord bless her tremendously as she gave her life and totally surrendered to Jesus as her Savior. To watch her be rescued from the dead life we lived to life in Christ, her hunger for the Word, it was amazing. It was a beautiful sight. The Word truly was her life. She was filled with the living God, Jesus. She got married to another individual from recovery. They made their life and it was precious to see them love each other and love the Lord.
He relapsed continuously for months. She ran, but not to Christ. She found herself in a drug infested apartment complex out of town, connected with a man, lied to me a few times, became pregnant and this new man urged her to abort. She wouldn't. Praise Jesus! She came back to Christ was loved on by some Christian women and then had a beautiful baby. Over the course of time, this is where this new and latest man came in. Life got hard as a single mom and this guy was willing to "help" her and her baby.
This brings me to today. My guess is she knew I wouldn't approve of this relationship and that is where we lost contact. Today she calls, tells me she is homeless but staying in a women's and children's shelter where they provide childcare while she attends the school she started last year. The man became physical and she left. She says she is struggling because she also needs to find work. She feels her only option is the bar. Admittedly I wonder is it really a bar or is it a club? She wants to apply for a weekend pass from this shelter but has to tell them she will be out of town and wants to use my address just while she can make some money. She tells me the shelter and their programs don't approve of the bar scene and don't want their mothers working in that environment so she has to lie to the shelter. I can't. I can't be a part of that. I am sad. I feel horrible. I can't lie to the shelter and say she is with me when she is working in an environment that they, who are the ones helping her, with her and her child's best interest in mind.
This is hard. Really hard. Pray with me, whoever is reading, to intercede on her behalf that she would return to the joy of her salvation. Trust in the Lord, the only One who can bring life to her dead situation. I maybe shouldn't even put this out there. I would like her covered in prayer and thats my purpose. Pray for her please.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Take Heart
Sitting here this morning and praying, reading, contemplating the world of addictions, hurts, deep wounds that try to resurface, confusion and chaos whatever it may be in anyone's personal life. We know that by Gods sovereign will that nothing comes up against us that are in Him without His say so. But why must we struggle and seemingly suffer some deep, dark, dingy stuff?
I don't have answers or quick fixes here. I wish I could say this magic word or the magic pill to make it all dissolve and wash away followed by a heaping spoonful of never ending bountiful joy. In these times we have His Word. His Word brings life. His Word brings hope. His Word brings encouragement. His Word brings joy. His word also points that we will have trouble. We will have suffering. Even in the midst of suffering we can have joy. The great man of God, Paul struggled with the "thorn in his side" till death. Oh yeah and death...not that he fell asleep safely in the middle of the night with a bath prior and a great last meal. No he suffered all the way to death. And He suffered with all security in Christ.
"As for you, O man [or woman] of God, flee these things [all kinds of evil], Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Timothy 6:11, 12
"In the world you will have tribulation [trouble, suffering]. But take heart I have overcome the world." John 16:33
"Take heart" Tharseo, Greek for take courage, be courageous, cheer up, He has overcome the world. He has overcome. He has overcome depression, He has overcome addiction, He has overcome sadness, mourning, financial struggle, crushed hopes, dreams or aspirations. He has overcome. He reigns, He triumphs. He tells us to fight, to take hold to that which we are called, to be courageous.
Let us take hold, courageously, that to which we were called. The good fight of faith.
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