I know its been quite a while since I've last blogged. I really do like this whole concept I just haven't had much time to sit and do it without being interrupted a thousand times. We will see how this goes. I intend to keep it short.
Today's random thought but completely heart felt is, my husband. I would have face booked "I heart my husband". But since I know Facebook can be a breeding ground for either "so happy for you" or "ugh you and your happiness make me sick", I decided I had to get it out somehow. Blogger it is!
I don't intend to make anyone feel bad by praising my husband but you must know this is coming from a girl who really never ever, ever, ever wanted to be married. Seriously. I scour the files of my memory to imagine at least one memory of dreaming the wedding day, big white wedding dress, anything? Nothing. I really had a bad taste about marriage. I had a barbie doll with a wedding dress and I remember thinking the dress was ugly. Sad I know. I dreamt of growing up independently, being completely self reliant, and never for a second giving anyone your heart. Never! So how on earth does this happen? I did marry Sean before Christ came and changed our lives radically but I still had that hard heart, your going to hurt me eventually and we will separate at some point I am sure, attitude. Sad.
What brings me to these thoughts is I am so thankful for my husband who desires to provide for his family, he desires that I stay home to keep up with the house (if I feel like it he even says), love our kids like no one else can and just have a smile when he comes home. I am beyond blessed. I thank God tremendously for taking this heart of stone and lighting it on fire for Him the One and Only True God. Without Christ I would not be the mother I even pray to attempt to be nor the wife for Sean that God desires. I get it now. This is the abundant life. Submitting your will, your heart to God alone. Not abundantly blessed with material things, wealth, hefty 401k, but spiritual blessings beyond what this former heart of stone could have ever imagined possible. Thank you Jesus for saving me.
That is all. I just wanted to whoever still may stumble upon this to look at your blessings no matter how big or really how small they are to be THANKFUL. Have a heart of gratitude. This sure isn't the life I had dreamt up when I was little. I don't think I ever dreamt of cleaning a poop accident out of the bath tub but this is absolutely the abundant life God had in mind for me. THANKFUL.
