Reflecting

Over the past week I have had the opportunity to share my testimony which of course includes my life before Christ. I am so radically different that people almost don't believe me.
On one occasion in sharing my past I felt God be glorified. The woman I shared with was one of my nurses aids that I've been praying for. Since I will be leaving work soon she wanted to thank me for my prayers because she felt it made a difference and would like to attend church. I explained to her that it wasn't me but it was Christ. This led to sharing my testimony. She thought because I was blond, put together, smiling, and joyful that I must have been raised this way and that I must come from a well to do family. When I explained to her that I was a bartender/waitress prior to being a nurse and that I had my fair share on the other side of the bar she could not believe me. I think that a good thing and praise the Father for sending his Son to die for me. Praise the Lord! I know that God makes all things to bring him praise and glory so at this moment I didn't feel bad about where I came from. I felt great knowing that my Lord would accept me and hem me in.
On the other occasion, I traveled through my past upon probing questions from my hair dresser. I've been praying for her too since going to her up to 2 years ago. The last time I met with her the Holy Spirit totally guided and she began asking questions about the end of the world, her relationship with her husband, sin, and the conflict between her now Jewish mother and doctrine. She is a smart woman but the allure of this world is too much. I didn't expect our conversation to ever go there but it did. And I was in amazement over how I can never have a plan, I can never expect to share or not to share with someone. Its all in the Lords timing. I sometimes feel conflicted about sharing Christ to others. I desire to, I look for opportunities and whenever the opportunity presents itself I'm on it to the best God has equipped me. I only pray that in doing this at any point that these I share with would see the love of Jesus, the acceptance that is offered and the renewed life and freedom. No, God isn't ok with sin but He is greater than any stronghold, greater than any guilt and will set anyone free who is willing to let go of this world. Oh my heart aches!
So my latest hair appointment went well, love my hair, but I can tell she isn't ready to receive a changed life. This life, our will, is too strong. She knows I'm different but is learning how different. I don't listen to the latest pop, I haven't a clue whats going on in pop culture. All I could say is I try to listen to things that are uplifting and encouraging. It was a hard thing to let go of initially but I knew Ozz Fest wasn't where Christ would have me be currently. I can't bring myself to listen to all of the sexuality that is in nearly every pop song. I love a beat and if I ever graze by that station the beat may catch me for a moment, until I hear about someones hoe or how some woman can do blah blah blah.  If I get caught up listening to the things in my past I will be tempted to think like I once did. I will be tempted to take on the attitude that kept me afloat on my own will for all of my life. I will not take up my own mess, I will take up the cross of Jesus and walk in His path set for me. When I carried it on my own I masked it with Jack and Coke, cigarettes, a fighters attitude and kept on, keeping on. I prided myself for my strength and well pride. I now can live life free in Christ. Free in heart, mind, soul. Free to be the one who he desires for me to be. I thank Jesus! I thank my Abba Father for loving me so much to take me in, save me, cleanse me and completely renew me.
I guess it just takes a little reflecting and catching up with where Christ has brought me to not allow the sin that was so dark to taunt me.
Psalm 61:3,4 "You are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies (satan) cannot reach me. Let me live forever in your sanctuary, safe beneath the shelter of your wings!"