Appetites

The sermon on Sunday at CrossBridge Community Church presented by Chris Dillashaw was pretty awesome. It covered the story of Jacob and Esau and how that relates to what we exchange for Gods calling.
Genesis 25:29-34 was related to what we trade our birthright, Gods calling, for an appetite. Jacob gained inheritance into Gods kingdom and Esau received soup...soup? Yes, soup! He was hungry, he was impulsive, he wanted soup, now!
Chris pointed out the problems and common appetites we Americans share. One of these problems was that we are never satisfied. Heard that word!
Possible appetites are as follows:
1. love and acceptance
2. progress
3. responsibility
4. fame
5. things
Of these five, I resonate with two of them. Hold on this may take a second to type out for fear of my having to acknowledge it....love and acceptance. eee...ugh... Hate the way that sounds. And that would be another problem the Lord is shinning his ever bright light on, pride. The second appetite I resonated with was progress. These two go together for me. If I make great progress then I will be loved and accepted. Even if that is self acceptance and self love. If I show progress in whatever area (school/nursing/humility/knowledge of the word, etc.) then I will be worthy of love and acceptance. Yuck, yuck, yuck!!! Excuse me I may have to pause. This is horrible I know!
However, still I know that I want Christ to grow in me. I want to make room for what He would have in my life. That means I have to lay all of that yucky stuff down. I have to, as Chris stated "reject the call of this world". I have to realize what it really means to be a child of God! I am NOT a child of me, I am NOT a child of accomplishments, I am NOT a child of whatever degree of success, I AM A CHILD OF GOD! Yes, Chris got just about as dramatic as that.
I want to live in freedom and victory however long this process of sanctification may be. I am realizing that each year it really is something new and sometimes a revisit to heal. Maybe this is just a part of denial but I've never thought myself as a people pleaser. At least I didn't quite feel that way before my new life in Christ. Interesting stuff we learn as new creations in Christ, ha! Even so, I know my Lord loves me, guides me, protects me, and has sovereignly chosen me to be His!
I'll also throw out there My Utmost For His Highest daily devotional was right on today too, matter of fact so was Streams in the Desert for anyone who reads those. God speaks loud sometimes, I just need more clarity of what His divine will is when they all seem so good for His glory...
Yep pretty true, out there, raw stuff. So easy does it on judgements, pretty vulnerable at this point. At least let this be for His glory and sanctifying work in me!
Acts 20:32 "And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified."

Here is a link to the sermon, I encourage whoever stumbles upon this to listen and really let Gods Spirit speak to your heart. www.crossbridgecommunitychurch.com click resource page for sermons, also found on itunes.